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 My name is Derrick Javan Hoard, and I’ve spent the last decade working as a licensed marriage and family therapist. During that time, I’ve worked with hundreds of clients, from those struggling with ADHD and depression to those facing more severe issues like psychosis and schizophrenia. But no matter the diagnosis or the life circumstance, one thing has always remained the same—every single client carried an element of self-hatred, and true change didn’t happen until they learned to forgive themselves.

This realization didn’t come easy for me, and I learned it not only through my clients but through my own journey. Growing up in a religious environment, I was always taught that forgiveness was something I had to earn by looking outward. But what I came to understand—after years of my own struggles—was that forgiveness must begin from within.

From a young age, I was held to a high standard. There was very little room for mistakes, and that pressure followed me into adulthood. I became a therapist, and in my professional life, I pushed myself relentlessly. But eventually, the weight became too much. I made a mistake—a professional one, driven by burnout, exhaustion, and the stress of always trying to be perfect. It was a moment that forced me to confront the very thing I’ve helped my clients with for years: self-forgiveness.

For a long time, I couldn’t forgive myself. And that’s the reality for so many of us, especially those who hold ourselves to impossible standards. We’re quick to offer understanding and compassion to others, but we rarely show ourselves that same grace. It wasn’t until I began to let go of the guilt and shame surrounding my mistake that I was able to start healing—and that’s exactly what I help my clients do today.

What I’ve seen over and over again, whether in therapy or in my coaching practice, is that people who are the hardest on themselves are often the ones who give the most to others. We carry a deep sense of guilt when we fall short because we’re constantly focused on how much we should be doing for the people around us. But here’s the truth: you can’t give from an empty cup. Self-forgiveness isn’t about excusing your actions—it’s about acknowledging that you’re human, that you’ve made mistakes, and that you deserve to move forward without the burden of shame.

I know this because I’ve lived it. A few years ago, I created a social media platform called The Situational Therapist, and it grew to 1 million followers. I spoke from the heart, but in doing so, I was canceled. The weight of that experience stayed with me for a long time, and I struggled to forgive myself. But through that process, I learned one of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever taught: forgiveness is not about making others comfortable—it’s about finding peace within yourself.

In my work, I’ve helped clients navigate the complexity of their emotions, their regrets, and the guilt they carry. But I’ve also seen how traditional therapy, with its focus on understanding the past, can sometimes fall short when it comes to actionable change. That’s why I shifted my approach to what I call "past play." Instead of focusing on past traumas, we explore how your past experiences shape the way you handle present challenges.

So many of my clients were stuck trying to treat the symptoms—like anxiety or ADHD—without realizing the real issue was deeper. It wasn’t about managing the condition; it was about forgiving themselves for believing they weren’t enough. Once we shifted the focus to self-forgiveness, everything began to change.

 I do this work because I know what it’s like to feel like you’ve failed, and I know the weight of carrying guilt that feels impossible to shake. But I also know that healing is possible, and that self-forgiveness is the key to moving forward.

Through my own journey and the work I’ve done with countless clients, I’ve learned that we don’t heal in isolation—we heal in community, through shared experiences, and with the support of others who understand. And that’s what I offer to those who come to me. A space free from judgment, where you can begin to release the guilt and rebuild your life with compassion for yourself.

Sometimes you just wanna know the person you're working with understands.  I do.

If you’re ready to start that journey, I’m here to walk with you. Together, we’ll explore how to forgive yourself, let go of the weight you’ve been carrying, and start living with a sense of peace and self-compassion.